That it left only one question; why did we even listen to the song in the beginning?

We were there because we were lonely. We were dying to find just one soul to talk and share everything honestly with. One soul that could understand, don't judge, and we feel at ease to be with, no matter how far the distance was, in real.

One soul to whom we could rest a little part of ourselves to. One that could make the complicated world makes sense a little bit, and will stay even when there is nothing left to be shared anymore. One that we share the love with, without the needs to define it.

But then, after we have found each other, all we did was just pushing each other away, trying to make ourselves believe that we are better without each other. We stubbornly believe that we could only do our own way, that we don't want what we have.

We hold on tightly to our fears, refuse to let go or change, and would rather to lose each other than to lose our comfort zone.

We forget about that night, when we were lonely and dying just to find one soul, and that one soul actually responded and stayed.

How complicated we, human, are. Or maybe, it's just love doesn't conquer all.

#life #honesty #thoughts #strangers #soulmates #love #lonely

“If love is only a matter of the right person, at the right time and the right place, then at this very moment, we have love. We are love.

But know that love is love. It doesn't equal to anything else. It's momentarily. And maybe, that's the beauty of it.”

Momentarily. Jakarta, June 2021

“At the end of the day, will you choose love or us?”

#life #love #honesty #conversation #strangers #soulmates #memories

“Loneliness is the price that I have to pay to believe that I will never be alone.

Being alone is the price that I have to pay to feel enough about myself.

They are different (Loneliness and being alone) and actually, they rarely be in the same room together at the same time.”

Memories do have expiration date. Bali, May 2021

#life #honesty #memories #strangers #loneliness

“I love stars too, but mostly I love the darkest night with no star at all.”

“Oh ya? Don't know why but it feels kinda sad.”

“Maybe it is. Sad. Anyway, stargazing. Is it possible to do it here?”

“Here? I don't think so. But I'm not from here. Just moved here last month. But it seems that I did a wrong move to move here.”

“Why so? Too lonely?”

“Mungkin itu salah satunya. Terlalu banyak manusia di sini, akhirnya zona private tiap orang jadi terganggu. Alasannya ya karena metropolitan, hidup manusia jd seperti robot.”

“Zone private terganggu? That's interesting. How so?”

“Secara psikologis manusia punya zona private dan non private. Di Jakarta, tempat di mana orangnya udah relatif lebih banyak dibanding jumlah 'space', zona private seseorang dimasuki orang lain. Akibatnya orang – orang jadi malah menutup diri. Mereka jadi lebih menunjukkan emosi negatif alih – alih sebaliknya. Dan masalahnya lagi adalah, emosi itu menular ke orang lain.”

“Lol. That's why when we have plenty of space, malah jd mau mendekat kan.”

“Indeed. Jakarta itu kota yg paling banyak penduduk, dan tak ada jaman secanggih ini untuk bisa saling keep in touch dengan mudah. Namun Jakarta menempati predikat tinggi sebagai kota dengan angka penduduk merasa kesepian yg paling banyak di Indonesia, bahkan dunia.”

“Haha.. at least now I know a bit, why do I feel empty at home. I've been wondering why do I still have this hollow inside me, even when I have everything I need, most of what I want, and people who love me. Still something feels missing. I thought it was the weather. Lol.”

“Merasa seolah hidup ini gak ada artinya?”

“Hmm..more to just looking for a reason for me to be here. Is that the symptom?'

“Kinda. Tapi itu bisa jadi sebuah kemajuan.”

“Kemajuan? How so?”

“Kemajuan, karena feeling empty itu merupakan salah satu indikasi akan tersadarnya seseorang. Tersadar bahwa ada yg tidak beres di dunia ini.”

“Really? But everyone keeps saying that I'm just being overthinking and telling me to live just with the flow.”

“Dan mereka enggak salah. Walaupun mereka enggak benar juga.”

#life #honesty #strangers

The one that, no matter who he slept with, knows that he has this magnificent irreplaceable feeling in his heart which he would never found anywhere else, and will guard it with his soul. The one that keep the butterflies alive with his own way.

The one who choose to walk in a silent and rocky road, alone with his own shadow, and humming with a smile along the road, can’t wait to share his stories to me, and listen to mine.

The one who will hold the whole of me dearly and set me free at the same time. The one that just by knowing he is alive, made my life feels worthier.

— The man who walk the longest and loneliest road.

#life #strangers #soulmates #love