Dealing with my aging sick parents and their dramas, intensely these two months, made me finally understand the saying of “The best way to be angry is to not be.”

Before this, I tought it was about managing my emotions better. Or about finding a better thing to say, managing my tone, curating my words and such. I thought it was about not letting my energy to be wasted by being angry.

I was partly wrong though.

“I wasn't even taking my time to think, is there even a time for me to stop? I have too much on my plate now.

And you were right; all the things that you mentioned, were. But then

Everything is a result of what I choose to do or not do. Nothing and no one could make me do things better (or worse), more than what I believe I can do.

If self love is about embracing what I deserve and feeling good about myself, then self respect is about

I was talking to a friend about a book that I currently read and about the childhood trauma part, when that realization came to me;

Something 'bad' that happened, cut us too deep, and left scars within us, is not a trauma. It was just another less favourable events of life.

What then turns it into a traumatic experience was

Freedom is never cheap, but almost anything in this life that we want (and we could only imagine for now), has a price that we could pay to have it.

And the real question is never “How much?”. Instead, it is almost always; “Am I willing to pay for it?”

Unlike stress that usually built when we don't understand how to deal with something, fears mostly raised when we feel that there will be certain discomfort (that caused by challenges or changes) that we have to face.

With stress,

As a woman, I was taught to find small joy and small happiness in every situation, especially in hardships and unpleasant or less ideal situations.

But boy, how I hate

I guess, closeness to me, never really about physical touch or how long and deep I've known someone.

To me, it is more about

It's like playing the same music all over, again and again, hoping to feel less and less about it, that one day it won't feel anything anymore to us.

That it left only one question;

..is to never let my peace be affected of whatever the circumstance brings me, or however the people around behave towards me.

To know that there is always an option, if not several,