If I ever have to hurt you, would you choose a deep clean cut, or a thin yet bleeding one?
If I ever have to walk away, would you choose me to say goodbye, or just dissapear from your life?
If I ever have to leave a memory, would you choose the laugh to be cherished, or the pain to be damned?
If I ever have to tell you, would you choose my answer, or my denial?
If I have a daughter, I will not read her bedtime stories about princess and the prince charming. I will never put marriage as her ultimate happiness of life. Instead I will tell her stories about traveling around the world. About the fighters and achievers. About life that is beyond the dreams.
I will not buy her dolls and dresses. Instead I will buy her
That moment, when you know things are going well to you and most of your friends, and you know that they are sincerely happy with their situation, and it feels like the world and the life rotate to the right way, and you feel relief and calm and…present in a lonely way.
That moment, when you find the silence among the crowded cheerful surrounding. Just like when you cover your ears in the water at the pool on Sunday family splash event.
Priceless.
I used to think that life is like circling around. We pass the same route again and again but we are getting better each time. We fall on our first time, we knew where was the hole on our second, we knew where to slow down and jump on our third, we increase our speed on our fourth, and so on.
I thought I’m gonna excell this life one day. That I’ll be able to walk with my eyes closed and it won’t be a circling anymore but maybe some different or new routes. But I guess what my friend said was right. “We will never become expert in life. We are just become more experienced on how to control ourselves.”
It is easy to put so much control in life. To judge life based on the right or the wrong. However, what is right and what is wrong don’t really relate to what we truly feel.
I hope love will never be a barrier or a destination to us. Just as how I hope status will never be a limitation or an achievement to us. I hope what others see from us will never be a judgement that we should obey to. And how they value the life, will never be our standard value as well.
I wish we will remain
Sometimes it is not the life that makes you feel alive, and it is not the death that makes you feel dieing.
Sometimes, both of them are never the differences of anything.
Most of us have been so caught up with our pain and sadness, that we suck up and crave of words.
Words that could represent the unspoken feelings and thoughts of ours. Words that heal our numb heart and make it beats a while. Words that touch our broken souls.
But those kind of words
Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind has already knew.