For all of the feelings I refuse to deny, and all of the memories I refuse to forget.
Either you erase everything about it,
or you erase everything about you.
Both will be a re-start.
“Do you know why I am here?”
“No, you never really answer when I asked. Why are you here?”
“Because I can connect with people without being really connected. I need someone but I don't wanna be close to anyone anymore. I need a hug but I don't wanna be touched. If you understand what I mean.”
There were some places that I have planned to take you to. I know you will love the coffee, and I know you will smile widely there.
There were some spots that I have planned to take your picture at.
“The thing is, I know how to make you smile and forget all of your troubles. I know how to make you win and change for the better in the end. I know how to make you fall for me, hard.
I know what kind of kisses that will make you lose your mind. I know where to kiss and where to touch till you can't even remember your own name.
That feeling. When you found someone, who has a playlist consist of songs that you have never heard before, only to found out later that you really love them all.
That feeling of a plot twist, when you kind of expected the unexpected, but still unexpectedly surprised.
You created that feeling. Fuck.
Maybe I should apologize to you, for I know you tried to find my monster who used to play well with yours in the darkness. For all of the sparks that they created on the darkest nights which felt so magical just like the fireworks. For all of the memorable pain that they planted inside all of our holes throughout our souls. Maybe I should apologize to you, for once that I ever made you feel like you can be my savior light.
Yet you know me well enough. I am the girl who carries her sword all the time.
There are some people whom I will hold the hands in front of the others, and let them hold mine.
There are some people whom I will kiss the lips in front of the universe, and be there for them. And there are some people whose name will never be able to be pronounced by my lips, no matter how dearly I hold them in my heart.
You are one of them.
“How do you know that you love someone?”
“When I got butterflies in my stomach, every time the thought of losing that someone came into my mind.”
Love is when I realize that I could really miss you, even when you are actually talking with me. When you feel near though you’re not really here. When you are a part of mine but not really mine. Love is when I realize that it is loudly here, silently.