Black Box
“And what did you reply him?”
“I said life is good and flat. The kind of tired that I'm facing now is a different one compared to one before. Lately, I'm just doing things without too much thinking. All I think of were just about what to do next, how to fix and solve things, and it goes on and on, day by day. Time slips so fast and suddenly it is already another day.”
“Hm..”
“It is good in a way, that I just keep moving on and not questioning much. Trying to believe that I'm actually doing something bigger than life, that this is how life supposed to be, just like how everyone else does it. That I'm building and achieving something much more important than what I actually might feel. But I know, on the back of my head, I have so many questions.”
“Such as?”
“Am I just surviving life? Is this the right way to live? Is this all what life actually about? Solving small puzzles day by day just to survive another day? Just for the sake of progressing on without even knowing why?”
“Lol. I was actually thinking about that, too. But you do realize that, if we don't do that, we will still do anything else, we can't even really stay still silently and not thinking or doing anything.
Means, if we don't anchor our mind and act toward something, the time will still pass by, the mind will still think of anything, we will still do something.
The difference will be, while with the first one we could control the topics and measure the output, the later we will be like jumping to the dark hole.”
“But isn't that dark hole the one which we actually need to find out about? Since that dark hole is what differ you and me. Our very own black box. And what's more important to life than knowing your very own reasons?”
“When was the last time you really sit and not thinking of anything or doing anything? To just sit still and really ask yourself honestly, what the hell am I really doing now? What do I want? Am I living my own life or someone else's projections of life?”